How to Get a Raise Using Body Language

The YouTube video titled, “Nonverbal Communication” describes the body language of employers and employees during salary negotiation.

An employer can set the atmosphere to be intimidating by leaning back into his/her chair with his legs crossed as this suggests a position of power, or the employer can create a more casual environment by leaning to one side. As negotiation begins, having some knowledge of how nonverbal cues work can be favorable.

If the employer is nodding, it is a sign of understanding and agreement—the employee is on the right track. The employee can then slowly work in the request for a salary increase while carefully watching the body language of the employer. If the employer touches or strokes his/her chin, this is indicative that they are considering the employee’s request. Furthermore if the employer takes off his glasses during this discussion, depending on the context of the situation, it can either be interpreted as a readiness to negotiate or anger and frustration. Particularly in negotiation when parties are of the opposite sex, an employee can use their charm to build a connection with the employer that is borderline flirty as attraction can greatly influence negotiations.

So what are the signs of a bad negotiation? To start off, the lack of body language from the employer is a huge red flag; this tells the employee that he/she is disinterested in a salary negotiation and the employee must immediately find a way to convince him/her otherwise. Say the employer opens up to the idea of a salary negotiation, but denies the employee’s requested amount. The employee has many nonverbal cues that can convey such frustration and dissatisfaction. For example, an employee speaking with open arm gestures signify pleading for a better salary, but with the lack of cooperation from the employer, this can quickly change to more aggressive arm motions and light banging on the table which shows a dissatisfaction towards the employer’s willingness to meet his/her needs. Any employee making such a request should be aware of the signals they are sending off and to what degree if they want to be successful; exaggerated nonverbal cues are just as detrimental as the lack of nonverbal cues.

  Do you think you can influence your employer's decision by following these tips?

SOURCE:

colinwhitlow. (2007). Nonverbal Communication [video]. Retrieved June 20, 2012 from <http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBOtj1RmaUE>.

Enhancing Workplace Productivity Using Non-Verbal Communication

Heather Rothbauer-Wanish posted an interesting article about how frequently overlooked behaviours can be detrimental to the productivity of a workplace. 

The saying, “your eyes are the windows to your soul” very well depicts her view of how eye contact affects communication. Looking into the eyes of your conversationalist creates a path for the message to travel from the speaker and to the recipient, which consequently promotes understanding and honesty.  The inability to look at the other person’s eyes gives the impression that you have something to hide, which can easily be translated as dishonesty.  

Posture is another form of nonverbal communication as it reflects an individual’s mental state. For example, sitting up straight and leaning in to the speaker implies that you are interested in the conversation—you can’t wait to hear more. One must always ensure that they are not slouching, leaning back, or rocking back and forth in their chair as it implies disinterest and boredom in the topic of discussion.  

Heather believes that the organization of your desk reflects the organization of one’s mind. A messy desk reflects the cluttered mind of the individual and a struggle to manage workload appropriately; a neat desk however, portrays the image of an organized and neat individual.

Arriving on time to scheduled appointments and meetings shows fellow colleagues that you respect their time and their contributions to the appointment. If you were to have the bad habit of arriving late majority of the time, it entails that you do not respect others’ time and jobs since they always have to wait on you.

Therefore, bringing awareness of nonverbal communication can promote teamwork and increase the productivity of any workplace.

From waitressing to teaching, I’ve had my share of productivity issues and I noticed that the productivity of the workplace really depends on the body language and vibes that each employee gives off. Making eye contact forms a type of bond between the speaker and recipient that results in a form of respect. If I needed to ask a superior for help in the office, I would approach the individual who has a neat desk and who is attentively propped up in their chair working away; this gives me the security that the person I’m about to ask for help is knowledgeable, hard-working, and reliable. Lastly, I’m the type of person who always likes to be early as it is a huge pet peeve of mine when I have to wait for late comers.

Try out these forms of nonverbal communication whenever you get a chance!

  

Did this enhance the productivity and atmosphere of your workplace?

SOURCE:

Wanish-Rothbauer, Heather. “Nonverbal Communication in the Workplace”. Web. 27 Mar 2009. <http://suite101.com/article/nonverbal-communication-in-the-workplace-a105458>.

The Basics of Non-Verbal Communication

Nonverbal communication comes in many forms such as: facial expressions, body movements, gestures, eye contact, and touch, to name a few.

Facial expressions are one of the easiest forms of communication to interpret. The facial expressions for happiness, anger, sadness, and other emotions are universal—that is, consistent throughout all cultures.

Other forms of nonverbal communication are not so consistent across cultures and can often lead to misinterpretation. Take hand gestures for example; in Canadian culture, it is rude to point at other people, whereas in the Chinese culture, it is a norm. In addition, many Asian cultures are very strict and conservative which consequently, a side effect of this is shyness—and thus, eye contact is usually absent but is not detrimental to the bond of communication. In contrast, Western cultures require eye contact during communication and the lack of it can be interpreted as dishonesty and ambiguity. 

Touch is a strong form of nonverbal communication that can send of many messages. For example, giving a strong and firm handshake shows the receiver that you have strength and confidence in what you represent. Receiving a limp handshake makes an ill first impression; limp handshakes make the receiver feel as if you do not care about the meeting if one interprets your handshake this way, it makes them uncomfortable trusting you with responsibilities. 

Do not be mistaken however, nonverbal communication cannot be faked; your thoughts and feelings give off too many signals for you to be conscience of at one time. In essence, the more effort that is put in to faking nonverbal communication, the more unnatural it will come across to your audience.

It is vital to learn how to control your thoughts and your emotions as it is constantly being communicated to your audience. Constantly keeping positive thoughts at the forefront of your mind and maintaining a positive attitude will send of positive nonverbal communication signals that will affect how others see you—it will affect how much they like you, respect you, and trust you.

This does not mean you should avoid negative thoughts and emotions at all costs; it should be dealt with in a constructive manner, rather than a destructive one. Keep in mind, emotions are just as contagious as yawns; if you are miserable, you will cause the people surrounding you to be miserable as well—bad news. If you find yourself in an upsetting situation and your mind is overwhelmed with emotions, step back and take a deep breathe. As soon as your upset subsides, it is easier to jump back into the situation with an objective view to deal with the situation in a positive manner.

Of course this is easier said than done. I’ve been in situations where I’ve been accused of lying because I could not look straight into someone’s eyes while making a statement, but it’s actually because I am uncomfortable with eye contact. I’ve had those fights where I just wanted to strangle my significant other because he was pushing all my buttons and my emotions were just overwhelming the situation. My point is, it’s hard to do sometimes but effective nonverbal communication should always be exercised as it does relieve the situation very quickly.

Have you had arguments with someone and found a quick resolution because you downshifted?

SOURCE:

Segal, J., Smith, M., & Jaffe, J. “Nonverbal Communication”. Web. 2012. <http://www.helpguide.org/mental/eq6_nonverbal_communication.htm>.

The Red Flags in a Job Interview

At somepoint in our lives, we will have to endure the gut-wrenching experience of a job interview. As if that’s not nerve-wrecking enough, you need to keep in mind that everything you’re saying is relevant and straight to the point. 

It’s not completely hopeless; there are a few things to look out for that indicate how the interview is actually going. Here is some to name a few:

1. Time: Although interviews are time restricted, it is bad news if the interviewer is constantly checking the time; this is an indicator that they are bored and cannot wait until the interview is over.
2. Note-taking: Interviewers usually take notes and require breaks periodically. However, you do not want the interviewer to stop writing and close their notebooks. The interviewer has already ended the interview in their mind and at this point, there is not much that can be done to save the interview.  
3. Eye-contact: You want to make sure that the interviewer is always looking at you as this creates a type of bond between you and the employer; you want them as engaged in the conversation as you are.
4. Electronic devices: It is courtesy that all electronic devices should be turned off and ignored until an interview is over. However, if you find that the employer keeps checking his/her phone for emails, messages, or even answering phone calls, this shows that the electronic devices provide more entertainment to the interviewer than yourself—you must get their attention back!
5. Yawning: If you’re interviewer cracks out a yawn in the middle of the interview, they are not tired; they are bored! In this case, you must find a way to gain their interest in you again.
6. Posture: An interviewer sitting up with his back is a sign that he is attentive and all-ears; that coupled with leaning in towards you shows intrigue—the interviewer is drawn to the things that you are saying. What you do not want the interviewer to do is, sit slouched in his chair and arms crossed; this signals disengagement from the conversation and blocking you out.

Once an interview goes sour, there is not much you can do to redeem yourself, but it is always worth a shot. The key thing to focus on is how you answer your questions—it should be relevant, concise, and enthusiastic. 

At all possible costs, you should never ramble on when responding; only give the interviewer what he/she asked for and if they want more, they will ask (make them hungry for more!). Another big no-no is, deflecting; doing this hints to your potential employer that you may not be trusted since you avoid answering questions.

I have kept these tips in mind during my past job interviews and they have worked wonders. I completely support what the article advises you to do as it has been very effective for me. Now it’s your turn to try it out on your next interview!

For those of you who tried this out, was the interview more successful than your past interviews?

SOURCE:

Mitchell, Allison. “Understanding the Interviewer's Body Language”. Web. 8 Feb 2011. <http://www.jobpostings.ca/article/understanding-interviewers-body-language>.

Nonverbal Cues People Use to Get a Date

The YouTube video is a clip taken from a UK documentary titled, “Body Talk Sex”. The host organizes a club-like environment to analyze the signals that women use to indicate their interest in a certain man.

One of the first moves a woman will typically make is, the “hair flip”. This is a subtle way of telling the men around her that she’s available and interested. Viewed at an evolutionary level, this move can also be interpreted as being youthful—the woman wants to show that her hair has elasticity and is soft to the touch, and not dry and dead.

In the heat of a conversation a woman has a tendency to expose a part of her neck by moving her hair to one side. The neck is a very intimate and vulnerable part of the body, exposing that area to the man is indicative of trust and comfort.

Another sign that indicates comfort is the crossing of the legs. During a conversation if the woman’s legs are crossed, it shows that she is comfortable where she is and does not intend to leave anytime soon; if the legs were uncrossed, it could be interpreted as being ready to run at first chance.

However, conversations do not always go as smoothly as intended and when a woman senses that the situation is turning against her favor, she will pull a few tricks in an attempt to gain the man’s attention once again. The first trick preening the hair the side opposite of where the man’s new found attention is. For example, if the man is constantly looking at someone else on the woman’s left, she will subtly brush her hair from her left and onto the right side; this causes the man’s eyes to be drawn away from that someone else and onto the hair that’s being brushed over. As a result, attention is back on the woman. Exaggerating emotions and reactions is another trick women use to get the man’s attention. If the man is telling a story, no matter how boring it is, the woman will pretend to be in awe just to boost his ego—consequently, this bring the man’s interest back into the conversation. As a last resort, the final trick that women use is called, the “eye pop”. In the middle of a sentence the woman will take an extended period of time to blink and just as she is about to finish the sentence, she will look up at the man with her big eyes and shoot a big smile—this exaggerates all her good features and can gain the man’s interest again. Of course this doesn’t always work (if it isn’t done right, you might come off as crazy), but you can’t blame a girl for trying!

Aside from the hair flip, the neck exposure, and the eye pop, men usually use the same moves as woman. For example, in the midst of a dying conversation, a man will pull all the same tricks as described above—but of course, in a more masculine way! A man may even be a little bit more aggressive and throw in an intimate hug, but if the woman just isn’t interested she will politely reject him by changing the intimate hug into a friendly one, i.e. patting him on the back before detaching.

During one of my recent girls’ night out events, I took all the information that was given to me in this video and analyzed the actions of my girlfriends. I hate to admit it, but the video does have truth to it and when the moves are done right, it works!

Do you think these moves work?

SOURCE:

DatingSoluions4Men. (2010). Body Language - Indicators of Interest (IOI's) [video]. Retrieved June 15, 2012 from <http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBOtj1RmaUE>.

How to Incorporate Non-Verbal Communication in the Workplace

If you look in someone’s eye, you are able to get a more accurate predictor of that person’s true feelings are.  Eyes have commonly been referred to as the “windows to the soul.”  That is why eye contact is such an important form of communication.  Making eye contact is important in order to portray honestly and sincerity to the person in which you are speaking to.  Maintaining eye contact suggests trust and respect where as brief eye contact can signify stress or fear.  However, it is important to find a balance between these two as you don’t want to have prolonged eye contact as that can cause the other person to feel intimidated or uncomfortable.  So why should you even want to have good eye contact skills?  For a variety of reasons!  Good eye contact lets the message sender know if the receiver is paying attention, responding favourably or feeling distress.  It also reveals the speakers confidence and truthfulness.

Additionally, facial expressions can have a variety of effects when you are speaking as well.  Researchers estimate that the human face can display over 250,000 expressions!  That means at any given moment you are sending messages to anyone you are speaking to without even realizing it!  In the workplace you will want to try and maintain a pleasant expression to promote harmony.  So feel free to throw in some smiles in order to encourage a positive atmosphere in your work environment

Similarly, your posture can speak louder than your words so it is important to control your posture in the workplace.  When you speak, make sure your torso is aligned with the person, to whom you are speaking to, in order to exude confidence, competence, diligence and strength.  Ladies, be sure not to tilt your head when you are making a point otherwise you will diminish the main point of your message.

The notion of time and space is not something to dismiss easily.  Being on time for meetings and appointments sends a positive nonverbal message in the workplace.  The way you organize the space you are given can also provide a sense of openness to your coworkers.  Try and create an open office space to encourage unrestricted flow of communication.  However it’s important to be aware of you co-workers territorial space and be sure not to invade it.

 

As the saying goes, don’t judge a book by its cover.  However, in a professional setting appearance can make or break your professional image.  Your personal appearance, as well as the appearance of your documents, convey nonverbal messages.  Based on what your receiver sees, they judge your status, credibility, personality and potential.  Therefore, as a professional, it is important to invest in appropriate professional-looking clothing.  Even on casual dress workdays it is important to maintain a professional image.  Your written work should always convey professionalism, so try to avoid sloppy, hurried documents as they can convey negative nonverbal messages.  This can result in the receiver dismissing or doubting the credibility of what you are saying. 

Do you think casual dress workdays in the work place are productive or should be eliminated?

• SOURCE:
  
  Guffey, Mary Ellen, Kathleen Rhodes, and Patricia Rogin. "Developing Team. Listening and Etiquette Skills." Business communication: process & product. 6th ed. Mason, Ohio: Thomson/South-Western, 2006. Page 63-71. Print.
  
  Picture Source: http://www.rightattitudes.com/2007/04/03/personal-spaces-interaction/ 
  

The Importance of Sign Language

Sign Language is generally known as the form of communication used by those who are hearing impaired.  However, there are other types of disorders that benefit from this type of non-verbal communication.  It provided a means of communication for those whose attention spans are short and language comprehension is limited.

Aphasia is a common speech disorder which occurs when one suffers a stroke or brain injury, leaving the person unable to speak.  Therefore sign language is vital in helping people who have suffered these injuries communicate with people around them.

For people with Autism, sign language is frequently used as a communication tool because it helps to encourage speech development.

Additionally, sign language is being used in schools to help children learn and retain information.  For example, French teachers are incorporating sign language into their lesson plans in order to help children pay attention and understand and retain information learned in the lesson.

When I was in Grade 1, my teacher was suffering from hearing loss.  As part of her curriculum she taught us sign language, from the alphabet to different phrases such as “May I use the washroom.”  Although I’ve been unable to retain phrases, I can still spell out the alphabet as if I learned it yesterday.  Signing to babies is also a productive way to communicate non verbally to your child who is unable to speak with you. 

Some food for thought...

What do you think are some benefits of incorporating sign language into our every day lives? 

Would you say it is beneficial to offer courses on sign language in schools, just as we would have the opportunity to register into any other language courses?

Log onto http://www.chs.ca/ , Canada’s hearing society website for further information.

Are you interested in learning more about sign language?

SOURCE:

Berke, Jamie. "Nonverbal Users of Sign Language." Deafness and Hard of Hearing. Web. 24 May 2012. <http://deafness.about.com/cs/signfeats1/a/nonverbal.htm>.

Picture Source:

http://www.signwithme.com/

Understanding Body Language

Body language is a powerful form of non-verbal communication.  It refers to the signals that we use to communicate, which make up a huge part of our daily communication.  Things we don’t say can still convey volumes of information, therefore it is important to understand the various forms of body language you voluntarily or involuntary communicate to others,

Facial Expressions show a wide range of emotions including:

• happiness
• sadness
• anger
• surprise
• disgust
• fear
• confusion
• excitement
• desire
• contempt

Human emotions transcend cultural and geographic boarders and language barriers because emotions are universal.  Therefore, facial expressions are an effective way to communicate with others nonverbally.

These expressions are tied to our emotions

and can therefore be voluntary or involuntary.

Our Eyes are commonly referred to as the “windows to our soul” as they are capable of revealing what a person is thinking or feeling.  The next time you have a conversation with someone, pay attention to the following eye signals:

• Eye Gaze: making direct eye contact shows interest where as constantly breaking eye contact indicated distraction or discomfort.
• Blinking: Although blinking is a natural and necessary action, blinking too much or very rapidly can covey discomfort or distress.  Infrequent blinking can mean that a person is trying to control his or her eye movements.
• Pupil Size: The size of your pupils change depending on the environment you are in and sometime our emotions affect their size as well.

Do you notice these signals in other people?

• 
  SOURCE:
  Cherry, Kendra. "Understanding Body Language - Reading Body Language." Psychology - Complete Guide to Psychology for Students, Educators & Enthusiasts. Web. 5 June 2012. <http://psychology.about.com/od/nonverbalcommunication/ss/understanding-body-language.htm>.

Types of Non-Verbal Communication

Let’s expand on the different types of non-verbal communication.

First, we have facial expressions.  This is perhaps that more prevalent type of nonverbal communication as many of our facial expressions are involuntary.  Facial expressions transcend languages and cultures.  Everyone has the same facial responses to happiness, sadness, anger and fear throughout the world.

Secondly, gestures and signals are deliberate movements to communicate without using words.  This type of communication is used almost exclusively by those who are hearing impaired.  This method helps those who are physically incapable of communicating verbally; communicate with others around them using a universal language.  Alternatively, there are hand gestures, which are limited to certain cultures, eras and geographic locations.  For example, what is the peace sign now, was the victory sign in the past.

Next, your tone of voice communicates a lot, this includes volume, inflection and pitch.  Your tone can be very important because it can affect your overall message if deliver improperly.  For example, if you are taking a course and the instructor speaks in a completely monotone voice, you will very likely loose interest in the course almost instantly, regardless of the course content.

Body language and posture can also convey a lot of information because they can indicate feelings and attitudes.  Arm crossing and leg crossing can be interpreted in different ways, for example if your arms are crossed in front of your chest you could come off as defensive.

Personal space is also considered to be a non verbal form of communication.  Generally the proximity we have between other people is determined by social norms, but can also be influenced by personality factors, situational factors and your level of familiarity to the person.

Eye contact is also an important form of non verbal communication.  Looking, staring and blinking can indicate a range of emotion, from interest, to hostility to attraction.

Communicating through touch is also very important because it affects how humans develop.  There have been studies, for example, on how the deprivation of touch and contact can hinder proper development of children. 

Finally, the saying “don’t judge a book by its cover” is widely known as being excessive and irrevelent, but many fall into the trap regardless.  This is because appearance speaks volumes; from your choice of hair styles, clothing, and color can suggest different moods.  Therefore, it is important for you to make your first impression a good one, especially with potential employers.

I want to hear what you have think about about this topic...

Which type of non verbal communication do you think is the most important? 

What benefits do you think non verbal communication impose in the total communication process?

SOURCE:

Cherry, Kendra. "Types of Nonverbal Communication." Psychology - Complete Guide to Psychology for Students, Educators & Enthusiasts. Web. 1 June 2012. <http://psychology.about.com/od/nonverbalcommunication/a/nonverbaltypes.htm>.

The Skinny on Non-Verbal Communication

 Although non-verbal communication is not as effective as verbal communication, it holds an importance because this type of communications transcends language barriers.  Different typed of non verbal communication include:

• aesthetic- e.g. dancing
• diagrams
• eye contact
• facial expressions
• gestures/signs
• posture
• sign language
• symbols

It is important to be ware of these types of non-verbal communication.  If not, you could be communicating with other people in a negative (or positive) way and not even know it! 

As the diagram shows, non verbal communication comprises 65% of your overall impression.  This means that if, for example, you were speaking with your boss about a serious matter but you refrain from making eye contact or are constantly moving, your message may not get across to them because they would be distracted from your other forms of communication.  Therefore, it is important be mindful of all the forms of non-verbal communication which can distract from your overall message.

What suggestions would you give to people who have a fear of making eye contact or are nervous speaking in front of other people?

Have you ever had this experience?

SOURCE:

Fitzgerald, Peter. "Nonverbal Communication." Peter Fitzgerald's Blog. Web. 22 May 2012. <http://petermjfitzgerald.wordpress.com/2010/12/15/nonverbal-communication/>.